A man in Green Bay finally had his 37 year wait pay off. He got his Packer season tickets! The man had waited on a list that grew to over 60,000 fans for the chance to purchase the tickets at over 500 bucks a pop. Maybe if they continue to play as poorly at home as they have this season, that waiting list will go pretty fast.

But the fact remains that season ticket waiting lists, like the Packers, Redskins, and the Eagles among others, prove that NFL football is freakin’ popular!  Every Sunday afternoon during the fall and winter has become Event Television. The Sunday NFL Ticket on DirecTV outsells all other pay sports packages by a 3 to 1 margin. And if you don’t want to plunk down the coin for the dish – or the extra coin for the NFL package -- sports bars all around town thrive by doing it for you.

USFL Washington Federals Authentic Mini Helmet

Such popularity has continually begged the question: could the overwhelming interest in the NFL sustain another league? The USFL asked that question back in the 80’s, and the XFL experiment -- or experience, whatever the hell it was -- lasted all of one season. So does the failure of these leagues imply that the clear answer is “no?” Hold on, He Hate the XFL. I got the fix.

The XFL actually had some good ideas: capitalize on the popularity of the NFL and institute rules and dynamics that expose the weaknesses of it. In other words, give the people what they want. Presumably, that meant a live-action version of a PlayStation game. But the XFL couldn’t sustain its lofty goals, mainly because it couldn’t find the talent base. The Ray Lewises and Rodney Harrisons were already employed. But that doesn’t mean the NFL is perfect. There are a lot of ills with the league, and there are ways to capitalize and expose those so that a fan base will embrace a new league.

XFL's Birmingham Bolts Overtime Cap

First, a few points of logistics for the new MFL (that’s My Football League). This ain’t the Arena League. It’s an outdoor, 11-on-11, football-as-it-was-meant-to-be-played game. As a matter of fact, we use the same stadiums that the pros use. Our season will run in the spring and summer when those epic stadiums are just begging to be used. The field dimensions and scoring system will be the same, as will the accessibility to the cheerleaders. Some things are just fine, thank you.

MISSION STATEMENT

As the commissioner of the MFL, I’d just like to state that our mission is to entertain the fans with high quality football, and to not lose sight of the integrity of the game. That means more football for your money and time, while keeping you entertained and involved. My crack Board of Directors has focused on a few key areas to accomplish this goal.

• INSTANT REPLAY. There’s nothing wrong with Instant Replay as a concept, but boy is its execution messed up. In the MFL, when a team feels that a play is worthy of a challenge, rather than some nameless, faceless “booth official” staring at the replay for two minutes, the play will be voted on by the fans through the internet! “Should the play stand as called or be overturned? Vote now.” Voting takes place for exactly one minute. Fans with rooting interests (or even betting interests) will cancel each other out. That leaves honest, objective fans who relish the opportunity to have an impact on the game. Plus it gives you great sponsorship opportunity.
  
  
• “NO FUN LEAGUE” That moniker attached to the NFL is one of our biggest pet peeves. The NFL is so consumed with protecting its image, or whatever pathetic excuse it uses when it tells Jake Plummer that he can’t pay tribute to his friend and former teammate Pat Tillman, or whatever it tells Peyton Manning when it tells him he can’t honor Johnny Unitas by wearing the classic Unitas black high-top cleats. And what about the elimination of end zone celebrations, trash-talking, and finger-pointing taunts. Football should not be governed by Miss Manners. Throat-slash away, MFLers.
  
  
• PENALTIES. Penalties, penalties, penalties. The pace of the game is destroyed by penalties. Much to the chagrin of the NFL, the average fan does not appreciate a game of regimented and legalistic precision. We want a game of athletes flying down the field and hitting the bejeesus out of each other. When an offensive lineman happens to brush his hand across the face of a defensive lineman in the heat of the action, we don’t want to see a brilliant run wiped out by a “hands to the face” penalty. Aside from it destroying the momentum of the offensive team, it kills the action of the game. We have to wait for the referees to confer, figure out the number of the offending player, determine the spot of the foul, how many yards to enforce, ask the other team if they want to accept or decline, then ask the number of the offending player again. Then the dude in the white hat has to walk his slow sorry ass to his officially designated spot on the field so he can get his face time. GET ON WITH THE GAME ALREADY!
  
  We here at the MFL hire only the worst referees. NFL rejects. Guys (and girls) who know how to leave their flags in their pockets. Let the teams play! Oh, I know, sometimes a well-timed penalty wipes out a play that you’d rather see wiped out, or helps your team pick up a nice 40 yard chunk of field because of pass interference. But we here at the MFL don’t regard that as FOOTBALL. The play should speak louder than the hanky.
  
  
• RULES. Some NFL rules are way too protective and downright biased in favor of the offense. Are defensive players not human? If you cut them, do they not bleed? While there will certainly be rules and “penalties” per se, their enforcement and severity will be different. Pass interference will not be a point-of-contact foul. Ten yards. No automatic first down. And the “no contact beyond 5 yards?” Not only is it overly strict, but the NFL has it BACKWARDS! If you want to “open up the offense,” the rule should be (and will be in the MFL) “no contact allowed BEFORE 5 yards.” Let the receivers get off the line of scrimmage cleanly and into their patterns quickly. Then, from that point, reward good, physical defenders who can keep pace with them and subtly knock them off their routes. Whose idea was it to make football a non-contact sport??

We here at the MFL are not out to change the face of football. We figure it will be a long time before the NFL wants to merge. We just want to bring “football” back to the game of football, and return the entertainment value to the average fan. Is that too much to ask? That and exorbitant franchise fees.